Updated: Jul 1, 2019
There are days when I sit back and I examine where I am versus where I could have been. I examine where I desire to be versus where the odds would have me. Instead of taking a moment to thank God for allowing me to be here, NOW!!, in the moment, I (in my human nature) reflect on the things of my past. I begin to feel as though where I am is not where I desired to be. To better explain, I feel discontent because my timeline and my goals don't align. To some, I seem ungrateful. To me, I feel disappointed in that I have wasted so much of God's time that now I feel as though I must double my days, my life, my time, my talents....in order to catch up.
As a child, I dreamed of being married with no children, traveling the world as a flight attendant and making enough money to buy my parents their dream home. Instead, I became a divorced mother of two, with a hearing deficit in one ear (thus failing the hearing test for the airlines), and one parent as I lost the other to death. I begin to feel as though it was impossible to achieve my dreams as there were so many barriers.
Have you ever felt like your barriers where your reasons for not achieving your goals?
I my head, the dream wasn't denied, it was delayed. I didn't understand (until years later) after being laid off from fortune 500 companies and various organizations that God's plan was for me to be an Entrepreneur. I did not understand that it was God's design that I birth children despite only having 2 out of 4 of them. It was God's plan that I live through the brokenness of divorce. Being divorced helped me to understand how I treated how I treated others before marriage as well as how I treated myself. I share more in the coming blogs...
As I battled finding myself and my purpose in various careers, God was molding me to become a lucrative thinker, a servant leader, a purposeful partner. I examined the years of complaining "WHY ME" as I watch my children make christmas lists I could not afford to honor or as I lost sleep nursing fevers and cleaning bodily fluids from various illnesses. I realized that this was all apart of the process to engage my level of focus. It was designed to help me understand that I was creating a legacy- a king and a queen - who will continue my teachings and walk when I have ended my journey. I realized that each relationship that ended with me in tears was an opportunity for me to reevaluate my standards. It allowed me to focus on what is important. I humbled myself and I surrendered myself to God to be ready for the man I was praying for, fasting for and wanted to so bad. It was in that moment, I too, stop playing the games I saw them play and I became serious out LOVE, LIFE and PURPOSE.
So what? What Now? How Can This Help Someone Else?
Like you, I thought that I needed more time, more money, a new city, a new guy, new career choice - new everything- to get what I desired to have as a child. Yet Instead, I needed to have more patience, more substance, and more faith.
I was able to achieve those dreams because I became determine that NO ONE, NO PLACE, or NO THING was going to stop me from reaching my goals. My past mistakes were not going to hold me hostage towards reaching my future. Instead, I turned those things into fuel to elevate me through my present and towards the future God has for me.
I overcame by past by living resiliently....... YOU CAN TOO!
Share your story with us! How did you "Overcome Your Past- Resiliently?"