The darkness will at times bring back thoughts of being lonely and memories of my greatest heart desire to experience the moment my water will break, and the mystery would be revealed if the baby I was carrying was a boy or girl. In the midst of the darkness memories flow of others quoting the scripture to me, “I was blessed to be barren” but not knowing that deep inside I felt more cursed than blessed. I hide behind my smile and the desire to help others; I was a victim of domestic and sexual violence. I hid behind closed doors and developed a strong desire to help others succeed in their dreams and ambitions. I made a conscious decision to stay in the background and walk in the shadow of others, because they deserved to be successful, so I made sure every “t” was cross and “I” dotted concerning their goals and ambitions. I felt more cursed than blessed because the right to have children was viciously taken away from me. In the midst of one of my darkest nights, while living in Atlanta, I was beaten, battered, kicked and raped. Much later than sooner, I looked myself in the mirror while standing in front of my bedroom fireplace, with no fire crackling, and asked God, “what is wrong with me?” And when I stopped talking, and finally could hear God, my answer came. Getting to the point of just being quiet, is not always easy, but I eventually learned it is necessary for survivorship and receiving the blessings and favor of God. No longer do I walk in the shadows of others, or care what others think about me. Whew, not caring what others think about me, did not come easy and at times still becomes a thorn. I had to make changes, by first being true to my own self and received my Associated Degree from University of Phoenix and continued my education in Criminal Justice from Liberty University with Bachelor of Science. I always believed hurt people, hurt people. My desire was to break the silence from domestic violence and sexual assault. Now my journey towards healing begins. I decided to continue my education in Human Services, in order to have a better insight and understanding of my past so I could see my future. Hence, the establishment of “4 the Jewel N U Global, Inc.” was created to serve survivors and victims of abuse, while educating our community on how to recognize the signs. I am a devoted and blessed wife of 25 years, inspirational speaker, personal administrator, Past Worthy matron of Prince Hall #258 Order of Eastern Stars and Past Grand Chaplain, author ‘We Rise Above the Residual of Violence” and ordained Elder of the gospel of Jesus the Christ, since 1996, CEO/Founder of “4 the Jewel N U Global, Inc. (501(c)(3) and spokesperson for “Domestic Dialogue w/Denise”. My favorite quote, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become” by Carl Jung. “I choose to be a true servant willing to serve the JEWEL N U” no longer living in the shadows of others or afraid of the darkness.