Picked or Chosen? A Lesson from the Kickball Field

I’ll never forget the kickball game in elementary school—the day that taught me the difference between being picked and being chosen. You remember how it went: two team captains standing in front of the class, calling names one by one. I stood there, heart racing, eyes scanning the shrinking crowd, hoping to hear my name. But I didn’t get picked early. I didn’t even get picked in the middle. I was dead last.

They picked me because they had to. The game needed even teams, and someone had to take the “leftover.” I could feel the weight of their underestimation as I jogged over. But when that game started, something changed. I played with everything in me. Caught fly balls, ran bases like my life depended on it, and ended up scoring the winning run. I’ll never forget the stunned looks on those captains’ faces—the same ones who had avoided picking me. In that moment, they wished they had chosen me.

That moment stuck with me—not because I needed the validation, but because it mirrored so much of life.

There have been friendships where I was picked only when it was convenient. Relationships where I was the last resort, not the first thought. Opportunities where I was added as an afterthought instead of being seen as essential. And each time, I had to remind myself: there’s a difference between being picked and being chosen.

To be picked is often circumstantial—about availability, timing, or someone else’s perception of your value.

But to be chosen? That’s intentional. That’s when someone sees your worth from the beginning and says, “That one. I want her.”

Women, I want to challenge you: stop waiting to be picked. Stop shrinking or dimming your light just to get noticed. Grow to desire being chosen—in your relationships, your friendships, your career, and most of all, in how you see yourself. Don’t settle for being someone’s “maybe” when you were made to be someone’s “absolutely.”

There’s power in knowing your value, even when others don’t recognize it right away. Just like that kickball game, your time to shine will come. And when it does, you won’t just be someone who got picked last—you’ll be the one they wish they’d chosen first.